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5 Questions Newly Engaged Couples Should Discuss

By Lynn Wheatley

tulsa weddings

Photo: Family Life

Many pre-marriage topics seem like no brainers. However, just because YOU are sure of what you want, doesn’t mean you have necessarily discussed it out loud with your fiancé, and most importantly, agreed on it. So before you get married, there are a few questions you should ask your fiancé or even yourself to avoid a disaster! If you can be on the same page about the most important base issues and morals that you have, then there’s no doubt that you’ll have an amazing marriage and a long lasting happy relationship where you can work through all of your little disagreements. 

1.) Do you want kids and how will your raise them? Reality TV reminds us, this is a very important question. Ask your fiancé specifically what he or she wants. There’s a big difference between having one child and having four. This will also lead to the question to who will raise them? Are you prepared to stay at home and take care of them? If not, would you be comfortable with your husband watching them or leaving them at a daycare while you work? 

2.) Where do we stand financially? Where you stand financially may be ever changing. That’s why this is such an important question. You may be ok with where you stand now. But what if things changed? Are you ok with having less money than you currently have? If not, what will you do to ensure that it doesn’t happen? The greatly feared, yet uncommonly asked question regarding the pre-nup should also be discussed. It’s uncomfortable but now’s the time to get it out of the way. Also consider what the circumstances would be of you or your fiancé staying at home and if you would both be ok with that. 

3.) If one of you got a career opportunity elsewhere, would you move? Maybe you are happily nestled in a beautiful home right now with tons of friends and family nearby or perhaps you are adventurous travelers who thrive on new and exciting places to live. Either way, if the opportunity to move ever came up you need to talk about if and when you would be willing to change your living location. 

4.) What’s your definition of being successful? Success means different things to different people. It could mean driving a fabulous car, having a steady job and a beautiful home. It could also mean, being healthy, having children and getting lots of time off. Make sure you know what your definition is as well as your fiancés’. 

5.) Why are we getting married? This is similar to one of those job interview questions that may have you stumbling at first. For example: What are your best attributes? It’s not that you don’t have any. It’s just hard to answer questions like this about yourself sometimes. Jot down a list of some specific reasons why you are getting married. This should make you feel confident and happy about your future marriage and future decisions together.


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