Lynn@LITulsa.com | (918) 629-1877

Engagement Etiquette

By Lynn Wheatley

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and we can smell the roses. Statistics show this time of year is prime season for engagements. So, we’re offering engagement etiquette for the one proposing and the one receiving, ensuring YOUR Valentine's Day wedding proposal will be special.

Nowadays, the Proposer may be the Groom in a traditional setting or it may be one Groom to another or a Bride to another.  Any way you slice it, one person is proposing to another person.  

To the one doing the Proposing:

·        Plan ahead. For the Proposer- your soon to be fiancé may be just as contemporary as they come but chances are when you pop the question, she will expect the traditional.

·        It may be old fashioned but manners are never out of date. ASK for your loved one’s hand in marriage by declaring your intentions to her parents. We’re way past the days of women being “handed off” by their family to the groom BUT you will score points by having a heart to heart – hopefully face to face – talk with the parents. NO emails or texts for this important conversation.

·        By the time you pop the question (and yes it is still proportionally more men than women) you should have a very good idea of what the answer will be. Don’t surprise her/him if the conversation has never been discussed.

·        AND if a ring has been suggested, this is the time to follow her guidelines. It doesn’t mean you have to go into debt for a five carat BUT the style she prefers should be followed. She IS the one wearing it. For a LONG time.

·        Make the occasion special – give her a reason to be dressed nicely and looking good – especially if you plan to have someone record the event.

·        And speaking of recording the event, you should know by now whether your intended will appreciate the proposal flashed on the big screen or whether she is private . Whatever you do, don’t embarrass her. THAT will be what she remembers.

·        Some guys do it up big time – with flowers and limos and marching bands – some draw the letters on the sand. Whatever you have planned – it should be special for the TWO of you.

 

To the one who is being Proposed to:

·        It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve said “I love you”, your Groom to be will probably be nervous about actually committing to the proposal.

·        However he says it, follow his lead. If he shouts it from a rooftop, it is great to shout “Yes” back. However, the middle of a crowded restaurant/bar/sporting event/family reunion may not be the place to scream your acceptance.

·        And for heaven’s sake, if you have no plans to marry the guy, give him the hint before he proposes. Don’t lead him on like some chick flick. It’s not that funny!

·        Properly manicured nails are ALWAYS in style and it pays to keep your hands ready to show off that ring if you have any idea that a proposal is coming.

·        So what if the ring you receive is something you absolutely HATE? Stay in the moment and answer the question. THEN when you’ve had time to get your thoughts organized you can approach him by asking if it could be exchanged. Again, tactfulness rules. Maybe it just doesn’t look good on your hand or your finger is too long, too short, too narrow, too wide for the style – whatever you can honestly say without crushing him.

·        It is NOT appropriate to ask “how big is it?” or critique the size of the stone.

·        DO include the Groom in your big announcement – however you do it. Remember, it takes TWO to be engaged.

·        Whether you’re on the receiving end of the ring or the one popping the question, nothing can prepare you entirely for the flood of emotions and excitement that rushes over you when the big moment happens. Hopefully with our help, however, you can now consider yourself a little more prepared.

Wedding Wishes . . . Lynn

 

 

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